Actually, I am smart. But sometimes I do really dumb things. Exhibit A. Chanukah gift giving this year. I have three kids, ages 10, 8, 5. Like most dumplings, they are spoiled brats. Delicious, cute, funny and the apple of my eye? Yes. But also spoiled brats. On Chanukah, the festival of excess (I mean the festival of lights), many families traditionally give presents to their children on each of the eight nights of the holiday. I would much rather get it over with in one night under a big spruce tree, but alas, I was born a member of the tribe.
Naturally the kids started asking for gifts ahead of the holiday. If you ever hear the words, “This will count as my present, I’m just getting it early,” run screaming the other way. This early gift-giving never works. Your kid may honestly believe it at the time, but it’s false. Because guess what? When their siblings are opening gifts and you remind them — hey, don’t you remember you got that Fortnite skin a week ago and we said it would count as a Chanukah gift — they don’t care. Their lip will tremble, a hissy fit will likely ensue, and you’ll be on Amazon in five minutes flat getting them something else.
I have only myself to blame on this one. We’ve been to this rodeo before and it never works out well. Next year will be different. Mark my words.